Experts

"Dear Lord, please give me the patience to not bitch slap these new young quilters who insist that there's only one RIGHT way to quilt: Their freaking way. AMEN"

I am getting pretty sick of this line: "Well, I've been quilting for two years and this is the ONLY RIGHT way to do this technique."

Spoken like a true four year old.

My version: "There's no right way or wrong way to do anything in the quilt making process, so do what works best for you. Here's what works best for me.........."

Freaking ill mannered snobs are what ticked me off when I first started quilting and it looks like another generation is proliferating. How sad for them and for anyone who believes them.

People Who Try To Dump On Me

Greedy, self-serving, blood sucking jerks whose sense of self-entitlement needs to be smacked out of them with a 2x4.

Friend? NOT!!

Try to dump your filth on me? Not happening.

Oh, and guess how I feel about people who get drunk and can't remember what they've done. People who KNOW me and ARE my friends won't have a problem with that tricky little question.

Pack your crap and go back to wherever you call home and don't come visit us again. I have the state troopers on speed-dial and I'm just itching to turn you in.

I hate being angry!

Could the neighbors please keep their dog on a leash and Freelancer.com give me my deposit back and stop quoting me an entirely new balance from whatever creative accounting software they use every stinking time I email them? Thieves and reivers.

How hard of a concept can it be to respect other people and their property?

Now I have to go see how many of my rabbits that dog killed.

If I could find someone who will fight with Freelancer.com I'd give them all the money owed me, or donate it to charity.

I SO dislike arguing, fighting or trying to teach inconsiderate people that *I* have rights too! It disrupts my harmony. DAMN. Just when I was getting things done and happily chugging along. Now I'm slamming things and discombobulated.

Oh, and the worthless piece of crap that quit on the fishing boat messed up the washing machine. What a surprise. Eighteen and probably never done a load of laundry in his life. I want to smack his mother for bringing up such a worthless sub-human and enabling him to remain worthless, as I am sure she will. I'm sure NOTHING is ever his fault.

Not Acceptable

What part of wishing death on an innocent person is a joke?

What kind of person thinks that wishing death on a specific person is funny?

Here's a good way to alienate me, and a lot of other people too: make a deathwish on someone and post it to Facebook.

I had to look up how to delete a person from my friends but two just went *poof*. I don't care who you are, how you know me, or what your circumstances are. If you don't know that it's totally unacceptable to post a death wish AND then attempt to defend it as funny, you are a GOD forsaken loser.

Immigration

Unless your ancestors are 100% native to this country going all the way back to before Columbus arrived, shut your mouth about illegal immigration. Just shut it.

Image Courtesy of Matilda-1

Wingnuts

My favorite new word!

Read the whole story here

Once upon a time.......

...there was a woman who did know how to be nice. She only knew how to make this one mad at that one and sit back and laugh while others stewed. Sometimes people caught onto her game and got mad at her, others just left, and others liked the excitement of never knowing who was going to be up or down and waited eagerly for every installment of insanity!

One day one of the ones that left found out: there's more than one of these bat-shit crazy manipulative self-center-of-teh-universe (yes, I know I spelled that wrong!) females and she CRIED! "Why, oh why do they keep popping up in my life" she wailed to the rainy sky. "Avoid them like the plague, I do, [Yoda voice] and yet they pop up like pustules in lower regions", she bemoaned. Because, you see, she made a friend but that dear friend had an adult child. And the adult child was a misbegotten replica, albeit a piss poor copy not capable of even the most rudimentary finesse, of the original woman.

A manipulator with the cheapest skills, obvious and low, using base lies and crude mis-information to twist and tweak, not at all like the original, who's skills were known far and wide and whose probing malfeasance required deep discernment.

And the one-who-left laughed and laughed at the cheap imitation! "You cannot play your silly games with me," she cried! "I have learned from the BEST and I shall smite you like the flea that you are!"

....stay tuned. I am SURE there will be more!

Mass Media is Stupidity Times 1,000

Millions and millions of United States Citizens are completely without a single health care resource, suffering and dying on an hourly basis, and the national media focuses on two individuals who wish to forgo treatment. Somebody slap me.

Real Heros

Real people, making a heroic effort to save other people, they are my heroes!

I am tired of being disgusted with assinine headlines about stupid "stars", arrogant actors written by clueless "reporters" who wouldn't know a good story if it were hand delivered to their door.

Hurray for Captain Richard Phillips, Captain Chelsey Sullenberger III, Co-Pilot Jeff Skiles and all of our military forces who are the real heroes for us all to look up to!

Monetize your Blog!

Guess what it tells me about you when I land on your blog and have to scroll halfway down the page of ads just to see who you are and what you are about?

It tells me you'd rather sell me something than talk to me.

Can you hear the door slam as I leave your blog?

Seriously. Think that tactic over before you do it, because what it says to me is "I want to make a buck offaya and I don't wanna waste a lotta effort doin' it"

See ya.

There's much to much great content on the internet for me to even waste the effort of scrolling down past that crap. You didn't sell me anything and I'll never get to know you. Your loss.

If, OTOH, you write great stuff, post interesting photos and have some interesting ads on the side or bottom of your blog, well, that might interest me ... because now I know you and I know if we have something in common.

What do the ads on your blog say about you?

Twidiots

OMG - I just *don't get* Twitter! I am on it, and I use it to keep up with: my daughter, a few quilters friends, a handful of bloggers that I like. Stuff that makes me either think or smile. Both is a bonus!

OTOH, I get messages almost hourly that some bozo "hoo cant spel" and types stuff like "i no yur biz" or "teh cat just puked" have started following me. Eh??? Why?

Oops, I found out that "you're supposed to follow someone if they follow you ..." NOT HAPPENING.

I cannot force myself to read that misspelled drivel and I have *no* intention of following an idiot just because they follow me. What the hell is that all about anyway? I just don't get it.

Timing is Everything

Why do Girl Scout cookies go on sale right when I start noticing the thunder thighs I've grown over the winter?

Holier than thou - not a nice attitude

Here's what a quilt designer and book author had to say about my quilting video blog:

"Since the blog owner does say whose video it is, it's okay, but there is no "About Us" page to say whose blog it is. It also contains links with logos on the sidebar, and I'm wondering it these companies know their logos are being used in this way. Not really great blogging form. M***** P*****"

She was answering a netiquette question about posting a video without stating that it was "used with permission".

She's got some nerve criticizing my blog when she joins Yahoo groups just to promote her book - something I've seen her do. Second, there are only two pages on the blog - the first page with the videos and a second page with some tips, which has my name, email address and photo! Third, the logos are direct links to the blogs or websites that the logos came from - something she could easily have seen if she'd just looked!

I am sure she's shocked that other quilting companies would allow their logos on my blog (out of friendship and kindness) because she doesn't understand the concept of sharing and caring.

Most designers are nice - she's a total jerk.

Wipeout!

Women. Bloggers. It's bound to happen sooner or later. I don't know if it's a menopause meltdown or just plain old self centeredness, but "As The Blog Turns", in full barfing, self pitying, chest beating, "who are my real friends" crybabying keyboard shitfest has begun on a blog I used to read.

I don't accept the invitation to that princess pity party. Thanking GOD, Hewlett Packard and Microsoft for the DELETE key. Delete from blog ring, delete from Facebook. Can someone email me the delete from brain cells link?

HGTV Hideous

Only HGTV could promote a room as totally hideous as this! Am I the only one who notices that the HGTV Emperor has no taste? Look at this photo in an email newsletter they sent me, it was the Feature Article!

First of all, those painted cabinets - what were they thinking? Next, the tiled back splash with the lovely white electric outlet cover design element. For crying out loud! If, and I do mean if, you have to keep cheap electric outlet plates (and they don't so there's no excuse here...) then make them part of the design element! Blue tiles set on point with crappy white rectangular electric plate covers - it doesn't work. Poor Mr. Blackwell. Must be rolling in his grave. He wouldn't ask for a glass of water in this kitchen.

What did they do right? The island has an interesting design. I'm afraid I'm old enough to remember 1970's Avacado Green so that countertop makes me want to puke, but view the photo in black and white to get past that and the design has potential.

Thanks HGTV for cracking me up!

Two Cards

"There were two cards and then there were three cards and then I bet and then someone else bet and then there was this other card and then he bet and then I raised and then he called even though he never should have and then the last card gave him the best hand even though my hand was better blahblahblah..." If you say this once a day or more you need to get a life.

Things that make me laugh

I love learning, and I seek it out in odd places. Books, classes, other people (pretty normal); internet and wikipedia (getting to be normal) and The Straight Dope. More specifically, The Straight Dope Message Boards (SDMB to those in the know). On these boards I find wisdom and facts from intellectual leaders and spam from snot nosed idiots. You gotta take the bad with the good when you're paying nothing... And there's a lot more intelligence than stupidity because the members come down on jerks (not people asking an honest question; jerks trying to be jerkish) like a ton of tarantulas.

And then there's the Pit. Ya takes ya chances when you post there, but by God, I get my best laughs there. Like this guy, kinda peeved about something, but not red-faced and squelching, as he explains in his own words "...It's not necessarily that irksome; but let's not put lipstick on a pig and call it a VP candidate, it is stupid."

I just about spit out my juice! Hehehehe. I'll be using that line as much as I can in the future :)

Not all Alaskans support Palin

I stopped telling people where I am from when traveling. I dislike discussing politics with anyone, I am one of those people who is deeply and quietly thankful to all of the souls who have given and sacrificed to create this wonderful country and I fear for it's future if it is turned over to a woman who has an utter lack of experience and morals to intelligently lead this diverse nation in the years ahead. She needs to go back to Wasilla and take care of her own family, her most important job and responsibility, which she's forsaken in her greed for the spotlight.

Best quote I've seen in a long time

"Dear God, save us from the people who believe in you." -- post-9/11 grafitti

N.E.E.T. Magazine

I love this online magazine and I am speechless with admiration for the gal that puts it all together - very well done!